


Ghosts

by hunters_retreat



Series: Further Interruptions [11]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Almost Ed Elric's worst day, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Roy Mustang's worst day, There is nothing good happening here, This hurts, hateful sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-08-01 04:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16277681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: The only person Roy had willingly let see this darkness in him, the only person who had willing come to him again and again, and Roy had betrayed him with body and mind and words.





	Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This is not a happy chapter. There is consent, but Ed is very much manipulated because of how he feels about Mustang, and Mustang is aware that Ed needs to be there for him. So this is not happy. You can read the verse without this and keep the happy , schmoopy stuff. They will get back to that I promise... I just felt the need to warn.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Roy didn’t need to ask.  Even if he hadn’t said anything all day, everyone in the office knew what today was.   Ed didn’t answer the question, but when Roy just stayed in the doorway, Ed pushed past him. 

He walked down the hall and kicked off his boots and hung his jacket easy as you please.  As if he had a right to Roy’s private torment.  As if he had permission to just waltz in and out of Roy’s life whenever he pleased.

Roy closed the door and stayed facing it.  “I didn’t call you.”

Because he needed to have power over something; anything that was within his realm of control.  Too much of his life had been beyond his command; orders he couldn’t say no to, people he couldn’t protect.  Ed was supposed to give him that control.  Ed was supposed to be there when he needed, his to do with as he needed.  Not a thing that had needs of his own.  Or a mind of his own, really. 

“You didn’t need to,” Ed said quietly. 

His voice was too full of understanding.  Too full of mutual pain.  It wasn’t Ed’s fault, but he had no goddamned right to this.

“You need to leave,” Roy ordered.

“No.  I’m not leaving you to drown yourself in that bottle of booze.”

He didn’t know that Roy had been just about to do that.  He couldn’t know because the bottle was still in the brown paper bag, sitting on the kitchen counter where it had been sitting since he got home from work two hours ago.

“What I drown myself in tonight is my choice.”

“And I’m just supposed to leave, is that it?” Ed demanded.  “After all this time, I’m not supposed to care that you’re killing yourself with that stuff?”

Roy’s fingers clenched because there was nothing in him tonight that could be weak.  Vulnerable.  He wouldn’t survive the night if his defenses fell and Ed was pushing too hard at too much right now.  He could admit that he cared about his subordinate.  But what they did outside of work, what Roy did when he called Ed to come over, that wasn’t about caring. 

This wouldn’t end with love and tender affection.  It would end in the bottle, or when Ed realized how stupid he was to do this over and over again.

“Get. Out. Of my house.”

“No.  I won’t leave you alone.  No one deserves to go through this alone.”

Roy spun around then.  He’d tried so hard not to look at Ed, not to move closer but now that he was looking, there was no turning back.  Goddamn Ed for not walking away.  He hadn’t called for a reason.

“And you think you can make it better Ed, do you?” he asked as he stalked forward.  Ed retreated backward but it wasn’t fear.  It was strategic.  Roy approved because they were in the living room with a warm fire and a comfortable couch and Ed was trying to maneuver him into something less dangerous.

But sometimes Ed bought the hype.  Sometimes, Ed forgot that Roy was nothing more than a dog with a blood-stained muzzle.

When Ed tried to move closer to the couch, Roy reached out and grabbed him, taking him by the arm and spinning him into the wall.  Ed’s back hit the surface hard enough that the breath was knocked out of him and he followed to press himself along Ed’s front.

“Do you think you can make me forget?” he demanded.

“No,” Ed said softly.  “I’m just going to remind you that you aren’t alone.”

Roy leaned in but he didn’t kiss Ed.  He went to the younger man’s neck and bit hard.  Ed let out a yelp of surprise but Roy tasted blood and he needed that.  He needed something to bleed as badly as his heart did tonight. 

He pressed his cock against Ed’s front and felt the answering stir of Ed’s body.  “Fuck, you want it just like that, don’t you, Fullmetal?  You’ll take it anyway I give it to you, won’t you?”

Ed had his face turned to the side and Roy tried to get him to look at him, but Ed wouldn’t.  Was it shame that hid his face, or desire? 

Roy didn’t bother anymore.  He didn’t need to know what was on Fullmetal’s mind tonight.  He was here and he was going to take whatever Roy gave him, so why should he hold back?  Why should he act like he didn’t want to be buried in Ed’s ass, lips bloodied, and fingers sore from clutching the walls.  He leaned in and bit Ed’s lip and Fullmetal moaned as Roy sucked his fat lip into his mouth.

He reached between them and undid Ed’s belt buckle and the button underneath.

Ed tried to turn Roy’s bite into a kiss but Roy turned his head and began to leave small, stinging bite marks on Ed’s neck. 

“Mustang,” Ed said softly.

“Shut the hell up, Fullmetal,” he ordered. 

Ed had never been one to follow orders but maybe tonight he realized that nothing else would be tolerated.  For once, Ed did as he was told.

The zipper undone, Roy pushed Ed’s pants down to his thighs before he took a step back and spun him.  Ed caught himself with his metal arm but Roy was already on top of him, biting at the back of his neck.  Ed moaned and Roy might make note of how much Ed seemed to like the rougher play if he’d had enough of a mind to remember it.  Tonight, he wasn’t paying attention to Ed though.  He bit and licked and scraped at Ed’s neck with his teeth as he undid his own pants. 

He only pushed his pants far enough out of the way to get his cock out and then he pressed against Ed’s ass. 

“Mustang, what are you- “

“The bottle or your ass, Ed.  I’m gonna bury myself in one of them and I’m tired of fucking waiting.”

Ed’s whole body was tense but he didn’t push him away.  Roy watched as his fists clenched where they were holding him against the wall, and then Ed made the conscious decision to let this happen. 

Roy didn’t wait. 

He pushed in, without prep, without anything to slick the way.  He heard Ed’s muffled cry of pain and felt the tremble of his limbs.  He was so goddamned tight it hurt but fuck it was good.  Roy fought for every inch and when he was finally settled in Ed’s body, he had to stop and breathe because he was already so worked up.

He raised his hands and pressed them over Ed’s and then pulled his hips back before he slammed into him.  Ed cried out and Mustang fucked him hard against the wall.

“Fuck, Ed, you’ll take it however I give it to you.  Such a goddamn brat all day long in the office but here, you’re just a fucking toy, aren’t you?  I could spread you out however I wanted and you’d enjoy it.”

“Stop talking to me like that you bastard,” Ed demanded.

“If you don’t like it, Fullmetal, you know where the door is,” he reminded him.  He fucked harder into him then because he didn’t want Fullmetal to leave until he was done with him, but it was always his option.  Always his choice.  Roy didn’t expect him to take this.  He didn’t expect him to let Roy be this.

“Fuck you, Mustang.”

“I think you enjoy my cock up your ass too much for that,” he said as he bit down again.  Ed was silent but his body was strung so high Roy didn’t think he’d need to touch his cock before he’d come.

“I enjoy it too much for that,” he continued as he fucked faster and harder.  He was almost at the edge when he stopped himself.  He needed to see it.  Needed it one more time, so he pulled out of Ed and grabbed his hands.  He pulled them both away from the wall and stripped Ed of his pants.  He dragged him to the couch and sat down on it, pulling Ed into his lap. 

Even with everything else he’d done, Ed came willingly.

He hid his face and it was so wrong, so unlike the man he’d come to rely on that it made him sick to his stomach.  He did that.  He always knew he would.  That’s what happened when brilliant men played with fire.

They burned and only the Flame remained.

Ed placed his hands on the back of the couch and lifted himself up without being asked and Roy pushed back into his body again.  Roy tried to capture Ed’s hair but Ed kept pulling away until Roy grabbed his face and made him look him in the eye. 

“Give it to me!”

Ed’s eyes widened and in his moment of surprise, Roy grabbed his ponytail and jerked the tie out of it.  Ed’s gold hair fell around them and Roy pressed his face to Ed’s neck to hide himself, for a moment, in that safe place. 

Ed let him and when Roy pulled back to lean against the back of the couch, he brought his hands to Ed’s hips.  “Fuck yourself on my cock, Fullmetal.”

Ed had turned his face away, but he leaned closer, covering them both with his hair as he began to rise and fall in Roy’s lap.  Roy turned to look at Ed for a moment and thought he caught the trace of tears before Ed looked away.  Roy just closed his eyes and let Ed work him towards orgasm.

Fuck, he should have chosen the bottle.  At least then he’d just be hurting himself.

“Please,” the whimper brought him out of his head and he watched as Ed kept moving over him, hips rolling with his cock heavy and leaking between them.

Roy took him in hand and began to pump hard and relentless.  It only took a few strokes before Ed came all over Roy’s jacket.  He was oversensitive and shivering and Roy kept milking him until Ed cried out and tried to push his hand away.  When he did, Roy pushed him out of his lap and onto the couch.  Ed landed on his side and Roy just pulled his leg up enough to thrust in.  Ed screamed with it and Roy barely pumped his hips before he came hard and long inside Ed.

He stayed like that, hovering over Ed until he finally caught his breath and then he pulled out and stepped away from the couch.  He tucked himself back in and made himself presentable again before he looked over at Ed.

And Ed looked fucking wrecked.  He still wore his shirt, but he was naked from the waist down.  His ass was red and his hole was puffy and abused, Roy’s come dripping out of him slowly.  His hips were bruised from where he’d been pulled and pushed and Roy could clearly see his handprints against pale skin.  Bite marks decorated the long line of his neck, blood tricking from two spots that he could see.  His bottom lip was broken from where Roy had bitten it and sucked on it to keep the sore from clotting too soon. 

But worse than any of that was the way Ed was motionless.  His eyes stared out but he wasn’t seeing anything. 

“What’s the matter, Fullmetal?” he demanded.  “I thought you came over to make me all better.”

And this wasn’t.  This hurt worse than before because Fullmetal had come to help him, time and time again, but Roy was broken and bleeding in places that his subordinate was too good to see.  Places that were just too dark for Ed to be able to follow.

But he’d taken him to that edge, hadn’t he?  He’d told him to leave, ordered him to, because he knew where his head was going tonight.  So why the hell hadn’t he listened?  Why the hell hadn’t Fullmetal left?

“It wasn’t about me at all, was it?” Roy asked.  “You didn’t come here for me.  You came for yourself.”

That stirred the other man.  “What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t come here to make me feel better.  You didn’t come because you wanted to be here for me at all.  It all fucking makes sense now,” he said with a laugh.  “I’m a moron, Fullmetal.  I should have seen it earlier.  Because there is no fucking way that you want what I give you.  You could have anyone in Amestris.  The People’s Alchemist,” he laughed, “and you know you could, but you keep coming back to me.  Why is that Fullmetal?”

“What the fuck do you want?”

Ed sat up on the couch and Roy could see the anger beginning to grow behind his eyes.  In the way his shoulders tensed and his brow furrowed. 

“I want the truth.  I want to know why you come here.”

“You called me.  You needed me.”

“So, you come running for a fuck every time a man you despise calls you?  Is that it, Fullmetal?”

Ed got up from the couch and grabbed his pants.  He had one leg in before it was too much.  Roy couldn’t see him all composed and collected and together.  When he leaned over, Roy slammed him back into the wall again.  Only Ed’s quick reflexes kept him from going face first into the wall but Roy was behind him again.   


“I know why you’re here, Fullmetal,” Roy whispered in his ear. 

Ed went stock still and Roy should stop.  He knew he should.  He pressed his forehead down to Ed’s shoulder and his hands gripped Ed’s hips because the only thing that made the pain bearable some nights was Ed’s heat.  He needed this but goddamn it hurt too much and he wasn’t the man he should be.  He was broken and defeated and nothing but a shadow of a man and Ed was supposed to help.

Ed was supposed to make it better.

“You want to be punished, don’t you Fullmetal?” he whispered against the back of his ear.  “For all the things you’ve done wrong in this life.  You want someone to punish you.”

Ed’s head dropped against the wall and Roy’s hand trailed down Ed’s spine and back to his hole where he thrust two fingers in without warning.  Ed cried out softly and Roy oh so slowly began to fuck his fingers in and out.  “It’s why you let me use you like this, isn’t it?”

“Fucking bastard,” Ed said, but he made no move to stop Roy.

“It’s why you come back to me over and over again.  Who else but a bastard would give it to you like this?  Who else would give you the punishment you need?  Or did you think I would cave?  Did you think me too weak?  Did you think I couldn’t?  Did you think I would fuck you once or twice and then be gentle?”

Ed was moving his hips into Roy’s motions now and it hurt to see something so damn beautiful be brought so low by the likes of him. 

“Do you think you deserve that, after what you did to your brother?”

“Stop!”

And he did.  He pulled his fingers from Ed’s body but he closed the distance between them and whispered in Ed’s ear. 

“Do you deserve penitence for what you’ve done, for the people you’ve let down?  For the death you led _him_ too?”

“I said stop it.”

“Do you deserve to live when his daughter has to grow up without a father?  Of course I’ll punish you, Fullmetal, when you come to me on this day, knowing I am this fucking waste of a person without him to keep me on the right path.  Did you come to me because you knew I would do it?  Because you know how much I hate you for Maes death?”

He felt Ed shift but he wasn’t prepared for the full weight of his fist as Ed screamed, “I said STOP IT!”

Roy tumbled and caught himself on one knee but Ed was on him before he could recover.  Ed got three blows in before Roy was able to knock him away and they were both on opposite sides of the room.  Roy was reeling from the blows, at least one had been automail, but Ed looked worse.  He was crouched low on the other side of the room, still half dressed and he’d lost his pants again somewhere in the fight.  Tears streaked his face and his hair half hid him from view.

Roy felt like puking, more from his own words and actions than anything but Ed fucking deserved to hurt for making him feel this.  For making himself so damn vulnerable that he let Roy burn him like this.  He’d fucking warned him months ago.  He’d … he told him not to pick up the phone.

Roy had called Ed to protect himself from the monsters of his dreams, but Ed had never known that Roy was the only monster left.

He stood up and walked closer to Ed who watched him like he was a predator.  Maybe he was.  He’d seen a weakness in Ed and he’d struck.  He was always good at that.  Tonight, he had been at his best.

He found Ed’s pants and threw them towards him.

“Get the hell out of my house.”

Roy left the room and went upstairs, knowing that Ed would hear where his footsteps had taken him.  He’d know the way to the door was clear and he could salvage whatever dignity he had left and make his exit.

Roy went straight to his room and stripped his clothes off.  He took one look at the pile on the floor and took them to the fireplace.  A moment later, they were nothing but ash.

He went to the bathroom and started the shower and got in when the water was still cold.  He turned the heat up and began to scrub his skin.  He knew it wouldn’t do any good but he had a routine anyway.  No amount of scrubbing could get rid of the sort of filth that clung to his soul.  The water steamed around him and he washed his hair.  He began to shiver and he turned the water up again, hoping to coax some heat out of it. 

He noticed his skin was red but his legs started to tremble and he sat down hard on the floor of his shower.  He didn’t realize it was coming until he was leaning over the drain, bile all he could throw up since he hadn’t been able to eat all day.

Eventually the water turned cold and Roy turned the water off.  He didn’t bother with a towel but dragged his dripping body to bed.

He closed his eyes in the darkness of his room, a place that already held too many terrors, and the only thing he could see was the stark horror of Ed’s eyes when Roy had hurled his accusations.  His eyes filled with tears and he didn’t try to stop them.  The only person Roy had willingly let see this darkness in him, the only person who had willing come to him again and again, and Roy had betrayed him with body and mind and words. 

Roy deserved whatever death the younger Elric brother could devise for him, but he wouldn’t get it because Fullmetal would never tell anyone what had happened.  He’d show up Monday for work and act like Mustang hadn’t just destroyed any hint of friendship and mutual respect they’d developed over the years.

Roy deserved the nightmares.  He deserved the bottle.  He deserved the ghost of Maes Hughes laughing at how badly Roy had managed to fuck it all up again without him by his side.


End file.
